As I hear the sound of footsteps, my body naturally gets in to an attentive state and words start flowing out of my mouth. It’s not a proud feeling to plead for money but my life has not been about what I want. It is more about silently accepting what comes my way. There have been times when I thought I would give up, but I always found more reasons to fight than giving up. And even when I am unable to see this world or even walk on my feet, I continue to conquer the challenges every day.
I would like to share some of the sweet things of my life. I spend quite a lot of time with friends, friends who are unfortunate like me. But nevertheless, they are always telling some amusing things to make others laugh. There is one kid who always mimics other people. From him only, I learnt that people in this city are too busy worrying about the things that don’t matter. They live their lives not for themselves but for others, to impress them and appear nice- he says. I cannot control my laughter very time he mimics this old man, who is very rich, but starts arguing about begging-ethics-law-spirituality every single time he encounters us.
Even when I am alone, I never feel depressed. I closely observe my senses, and feel the world surrounding me. Since eyes are not an option for me, I go with ears, nose and skin. I don’t speak much, so tongue is again rarely being used. I feel everything that I can, with great concentration. Which makes me feel that the world must be a beautiful place. Some people keep telling me that it isn’t that beautiful what I expect. I choose to ignore their words and live in my own imaginary world. I am infected with getting too happy over small things. If people give me money I feel happy, if they don’t and talk to me, I still feel happy. If they simply pass by without realizing my presence, I still enjoy the silence and the smell they carry with themselves. I have enough reasons to be happy.
There are also few people who feel bad for me. They come to me and tell how terrible they feel about my existence. I wish I could express my anger upon them and tell them how terrible I feel about their presence around me. But I have learnt self control and I find myself strong enough to face such people. My friend Gopal tells me that people have changed a lot over the years. From their appearance to behavior, almost everything. And he feels bad about it. But I don’t. They are helping us survive, with the little or hefty amounts they offer and they have never let us down. However, from god and government, we have never had such expectations, though we use their names for begging.
Years back, I learnt a term – Adventure. If I have to summarize my life with one word, this would be the one. I don’t live a life of comfort but struggle, with huge uncertainty. There is no security, not even that of life. I could never guarantee that I shall be alive few minutes later. But that’s what drives me. The anxiety, the thrill, the nervousness and then – the smile, when I finish the day and admire myself for the courage that I have shown. Trust me, this is the most beautiful feeling in this world – to live with freedom and do everything that you can. Don’t miss it.
Hope to meet you in person someday. Do stop by, if you get a chance. Till then, have a good life.