She called me, it seemed. She spoke words which were not decipherable to me, but I could easily tell that she was inviting me. Her hands were waving provocatively, her face was ascending and descending as she made those undecipherable sounds and something inside me kept telling me that it was an invitation. The sounds of Aaahs and Ooohs were being repeated by the young woman and no matter how alien she was to me, I had already started liking her. This was the same house where I came every day, but I had never seen her before. Perhaps she had moved that day only or the day before. Otherwise I couldn’t have missed her. I mean, come on, how many times people call you when you are minding your own business? Not many people do that, especially when they are beautiful, and she was…
I scrutinized her body which was mostly covered and I realized the relevance of hiding certain body parts to raise the fantasies in the minds of onlookers. Her features were sharp and her gestures were seductive, or at least I found them so. I kept leering at her with wide open eyes for some time while she lowered her voice a little, as if she was losing her hope that I would accept the invitation. It wasn’t easy for me. How could I trust a stranger? I thought.
“Don’t trust people these days. Both men and women are of criminal nature and they can harm you, my innocent kid,” mother had warned me many times. It was a rare occasion when I had gone somewhere without her and I secretly felt good about that. The woman stood there and my mind kept questioning about unknown things. But suddenly at that moment, I felt like – taking a chance, to follow my instincts and do what she was asking me to…
I ambled towards her, in a hope that she would do no harm to me. We were so close, very close, and my heart beats had understood the meaning of closeness before I could… She offered me what I was hoping for and I went back to my home. I didn’t tell mother anything about that.
The next day I went to the same place again. I remembered the place correctly, which appeared exactly like yesterday, only that she was not there. I called her by imitating the sounds that she made yesterday, but no one responded. The house was locked and there was no way I could enter, and it wouldn’t have been of any use either. I decided to wait for her and I did – the whole night, the next day, and the next night.
I went back to my home. But mother was not there. She should have been there, I thought, but she wasn’t. I waited again. This time the wait was long, and she didn’t come back ever. Then I realized I had lost her, for some foolish reasons, but it was too late… Now I rarely fly outside and spend most of the time in the memories of the life that we lived in this nest. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I chirp the songs she had told me and I wonder what other sparrows would think of me though I don’t care much about that. I live in a hope that someday I will fly again with the same zeal and explore the world as I had once dreamt. I hope when I fly, mother would join me and guide me towards the destination. I hope that I will fly and come back to home again and mother would be waiting for me. I hope…
Deepak Rana 