I love the feeling of you inside me. I and your father, dreamt of you when we fell in love and imagined you coming in to our lives. I secretly pray that you wear a smile like the one your father has. Though he keeps hoping that you turn out to be like me, so that he can relish my childhood that he missed. Frankly speaking, tt hardly matters whether you turn out to be like him, or me, or an entirely different person, I know one thing that I am gonna love you unconditionally.
You know when I was a kid, I always wondered why Mom was so overprotective and over caring. And why she interfered in my freedom. Sometimes she would cry over meaningless things. I hated her for that. I understand Mom, why do you keep bothering me – I said, every time I felt frustrated. And the frustrations were quite common. Once I scolded her for telling my personal habits to my friends. Today, I can understand why she did that. She wasn’t fatuous or impulsive, as I had assumed back then, but she was bounded by the chains of unconditional love that every mother feels for her child. Therefore, if some day you find me acting foolish, troubling you, bothering you, try to forgive me for one reason that my heart would be severely aching and longing for your love.
I have so many things to share with you. About myself, your father and you – how you felt inside my stomach, how you came in to this world, how I cried when you cried, how I reciprocated your smile. I will also tell you the story of I and your father, which remains the favorite story of my life. Can I tell now? Ok, later.
There are few things that will remain between you and me, all right? You have to promise me that you won’t tell your father. Deal? Good. Your father will keep telling you, how impressive he was, the way he approached me, the way he talked and asked me for a date. Let me tell you the truth. I fell for him, even before he noticed me. I acted queerly so that he could not perceive the love hidden inside me, for him of course. And when he asked me for a date, I took a long time to say yes, as I was afraid again. But once we started dating, came closer, knew each other better, all my fears were gone. That’s the kind of man your father is. I am sure you are going to love him too. I will share many secrets in the coming days.
There is something else that I want to tell you. Something that I wish you can understand and remember all your life. You are not just a part of my life, but a part of me. Every emotion of yours is mine. All your pains are mine, and all my happiness is yours. I will be lonely if you are away. And no matter how many things I tell you, there will always be something left unsaid. I hope you will understand what I am not able to put in to words. I can expect nothing from you but your happiness and well being. But yes, little love from your side will be enough to make my life perfect.
Deepak Rana 