The rain has come again. This time the drops are tumultuous, unlike the first time I saw you; they followed a melodious song back then. Drenched in the raindrops, struggling to hold your umbrella upright, you were tittering and trying to make your way forward. I gaped at you for a while and the first feeling that I had after seeing you was that of joy. That first sight of you lasted only for few minutes but even after eight long years, I remember each second of it. How you turned, how you lifted your left foot and then right, how you partially tried to cover yourself and partially allowed to get drenched as if the rain drops were tickling your body. That was not even the beginning and I knew something beautiful was going to happen in my life.
And it happened. You happened to me, or as you said – we happened.
You might be wondering why I am writing this letter; it’s not Sunday, or your birthday or any other special occasion. But I guess today I feel like writing to you. And that doesn’t need occasion. Even though I enjoy having conversations with you but writing a letter is altogether different, for one thing I know that you really love my letters.
Falling in love with you didn’t require any effort. It was natural, as natural as my heart beats. Loving you is not a task, it is a comfort which keeps me in my dream world. Not loving you could have been a task – difficult for others, impossible for me. In these eight years, I have fallen in love with you, each day more than the previous one. And I will continue to do that, doesn’t matter the world calls me stupid or crazy. Who cares? We never did.
If I tell someone that it took us three days to fall in love, no one is going to believe. So, I don’t. Three days – to fall in love, three days to figure out what we were missing in our lives, three days to decide the remaining part of our lives. I still don’t understand why I fell in love with you and I am sure, neither do you. You were not the first girl in my life, there were more than a dozen before you. And equally true is the opposite. I was not the first one in your life either. But something set us apart. Perhaps we were destined to fall in love. There were no reasons, we didn’t need any. There were no promises but only faith – the faith that our love shall always remain. We knew it then, and we still know that.
Then came the best two months of my life.
When we moved in together, in a new city where no one knew us, we couldn’t believe we had decided to live together in a matter of few days. That was the kind of faith that we had in us. It happened so quickly that we couldn’t even tell anyone about it. Or we were too busy in our own life, a perfect life. We laughed, we cried and we held it each other as much as we could. We made love every night and after that we talked for hours, till we fell asleep in each other’s arms. On the fourteenth day you told me that you were afraid to lose me and I promised to live with you forever. You smiled, with a couple of tears in your eyes. And so did I. Because I never missed You jump, I jump rule. Neither did you.
Then one day you left, and never came back. You were right when you had said – Only death can keep us apart, nothing else and no one else.
I had died too, from inside. But I had to live, because we had promised each other that we would make our dream come true – Our dream of a school where we would provide the best education to kids. There is no other purpose in my life. Every morning when I wake up and do my prayers I tell myself that I am going to make you proud. You are always there in my prayers. In a world where I have no desire to live and I count each moment so that I can meet you any sooner, you give me strength. Sometimes when I feel weak, I take out your picture and kiss it, and think about those two months. They were enough to give a true meaning to my life.
You taught me how to love and just because you are not here, it cannot be the reason that I stop loving you. That doesn’t mean I do not miss your presence. I certainly do and therefore I wish to see you soon. Whenever you feel that our dream has been achieved, please call me there.
PS: I miss you badly and I am sorry for breaking our No cry alone rule, again.